Lalmonirhat and Rangpur

Week three of service learning found us in the district of Lalmonirhat for what was originally supposed to be a whole week. It was here that we would be able to see the RDRS run eye care clinic and school for blind children as well as get to meet a girl who had been through the women's rehabilitation program and had returned home to her village among other things. Unfortunately for myself I finally had my streak of relatively good health on the trip come to an end. I don't know what exactly it was that did me in but it good me good and I was out of commission for the visits to the eye care clinic and school for blind children which was really disappointing. As a group we weren't doing so well between the lack of power at the accommodations at night (imagine sleep at 40 degrees with no ac or even fans) and the majority of us having some sort of stomach trouble, so we ended up returning to Rangpur earlier than expected. We managed to get all the scheduled programming done faster than expected and I think it was good to recognize our limits and get some rest even though it cut our stay short. However it was still a memorable few days and I enjoyed being able to see Lalmonirhat.

We had been warned before departure that there would be times that things would just be deferred to Evan due to him being male and that was all well and good, nothing to worry much about. Up until Lalmonirhat I hadn't really noticed it but that really changed during the time we spent there. We were addressed on more than a few occasions as "Evan and others" and a cycle of started to develop of most attention being directed only at Evan, which prompted me to not want to ask as many questions and keep quiet which in turn meant that more attention was directed at Evan. This really made me question RDRS gender equality programming and think more about what gender equality in the context of Bangladesh means. We've heard how hard it is from project managers, doctors and teachers to keep girls in school and to give them the same opportunities as boys. Having girls being able to ride bikes, go to school and be out of the home is regarded by many here that we have met as gender equality and while those are certainly achievements I hadn't expected my personal vision of gender equality and RDRS to be misaligned as much as they were. Clearly with many aspects of women's lives here still being controlled by the men in their lives, there is a long way to go between the sexes but I can't help but wonder if there was some miracle way to speed that process up. Logically I know how naive that is to think but there's something about meeting girls who were married at 12 that makes me wish it was that easy. Having had a short and rather unpleasant experience being unheard, I can only imagine how a lifetime would feel. On the opposite end of the spectrum I am that much more in awe of the bravery of the girls we've met who defy societies standards and continue with their education against staggering odds.

Meeting the girl who had completed the training of the rehabilitation center and returned to her village after surviving dowry torture was pretty eye-opening. She had been married off at 12, the daughter of a day labourer who made 200-300 taka/day (2.56-3.85$ US) to a husband whose parents were also day labourers. We learned that it is common practice for the husband and family to attempt to extract dowry to fund the creation of a family business as a dowry comes with a much nicer repayment policy than a microfinance loan and that had been the case here. The husband and his family had demanded 50 000 taka and the girls father had only been able to provide 25 000 and so the community women's forum had referred the girl to the rehabilitation center where she could escape the abuse, begin court proceedings for divorce and criminal charges  and learn new trades to be self-sufficient for the return to her family. Her in laws had been sentenced to 6 days in prison however her soon to be ex-husband had disappeared and thus faced no consequences. Until he reappears the case will be ongoing. Despite her ordeal she hopes to one day remarry and was glad that she got to live with her family and now contribute 50% of her earnings from tailoring to her family. What was the most surprising and also sad about this visit was that the girls father had no qualms about marrying off his other daughter who we had the chance to also meet. She was only 14 and looked more a child than a woman who could manage a household and bear children. Clearly there are very deep-rooted traditions and people are willing to defy the law and logic to go along with them. I hope within my lifetime these can be changed because these girls deserve nothing less than equality and the chance to make their own choices.